Try and think back to the last time you passed on sex. What did you opt for instead? More sleep? A TV show? Answering an email from work? Heading to the gym? Just some peace and quiet? It happens to all of us once in a while that we’re just not in the mood for sex. Even the oh-so-virile man occasionally just wants to, ahem, lay down his sword and relax. The problem is, if you do this often enough, you actually begin to downgrade your desire for sex. In doing so, many men and women mistakenly believe that the spark has gone out of their sex life, that their partners have become undesirable or that the relationship is coming to an end.
What’s actually going on is that the dynamic of the relationship is changing towards a more one-dimensional, less robust kind of interaction which typically results in one or both parties feeling unfulfilled. Sex is an important part of any committed relationship. Among other things, it is shared intimacy, closeness, trust, and yes – enjoyment. Take it out of the relationship, or cease to make it a priority and important feelings and attributes of the relationship are bound to change. Thankfully, your sex life can be fixed… and probably a lot easier and more enjoyably than you thought.
Put yourself and your partner on a 30-day challenge to have sex or sexual contact every day during the challenge. Sex, of course, referring to intercourse and sexual contact referring to anything from oral or manual stimulation of your partner to naked cuddling to sharing a sexy shower. It works by showing your partner you’re still interested in sex and that you still view them as a sexual being. Even if it feels awkward or you’re out of practice, the mind and body catch back up (it usually takes about two to three weeks for most couples to regain their full sexual confidence from earlier in the relationship). Barring any larger issues at play in the situation, like abuse or infidelity, you’ll be on the fast track to restoring a more active sex life.