You can’t always choose who you fall in love with. In fact, most people would argue love chooses us. But cheaters do have control over their own actions and how they treat others. So if you’ve found yourself in a situation where you’ve now got more than one serious relationship in your life, you have to accept your responsibility in the situation.
A quick guide into how cheaters think
They rationalize it
Many men will strip away their culpability in cheating situations by rationalizing. They’ll convince themselves their original partner didn’t give them enough attention, or that the newer romantic partner wouldn’t take no for an answer. Rest assured, every man can gain control of those situations through a discussion with the parties involved (separately, of course).
They think no one will know
Other times, men will convince themselves that neither party will ever find out... but this too, is a lie. One way or another, if the relationships progress at all, they’ll want to know where you spend the rest of your time or they’ll insist on spending more time together. Unless you figure out a way to clone yourself or put more hours in the day, something’s gotta give.
They think the other person will never tell
One of the biggest half-truths out there is the idea that openness and honesty with the “other woman” about being married or otherwise involved makes it okay. In reality, this rarely, if ever, ends well. Once the allure of “doing something bad” wears off, pressure starts for a choice to be made, and if the person you’re cheating with knows about your spouse or significant other, be prepared for some major fallout.
So why is it such a big deal anyway?
Why this social pressure to conform to a single partner? You may be surprised to learn that it’s not all social. Some studies show that human beings, as animals, participate in pair-bonding behavior not unlike certain other animal species. Within a bonded pair, both members of a couple report stronger emotional feelings, generally better overall health and mood, and even heightened sexual pleasure. To work on your own bond with your partner, try communicating and spending more time together, instead of more time with another partner.