We all know those couples who break up only to get right back together then break up again. So what’s the deal with those on again off again relationships and do they ever work in the long term? The key to answering this question is to identify the problem at hand and then identify if fixing it and getting back together with your ex is possible.
Is getting back together with your ex ever a good idea?
What caused the break up?
First thing you will want to do is ask yourself why you are breaking up. This is a question that you have to honestly answer before even considering diving back in. People usually break up for one of two reasons 1 they really want to break up or 2 they want to control the other person. If you or your ex break up without the intention of fully breaking things off then you or the other person is playing games and that is not a healthy relationship and getting back together is sure to end in another break up.
Did you Resolve the issue?
Once you have identified what the issue is then comes resolution time. If you broke up because of infidelity did you get down to the reason why you or the other person stepped out? And can either of you live with the thought of knowing that person stepped out and you can never take it back? Whatever the issue was it is necessary to let go and move on. Failure to let go of the cause of the breakup will only put you back in the same fights you were having before over and over (again not healthy).
All the exciting “firsts” are already done
Another big problem with dating your ex is all of the fun and exciting things that make a relationship great you have already done: first meet, first kiss, first date, first time in bed. When you get back together with your ex the tendency is to skip over all of those steps since you have already been there and go right back to sex and love.
The problem is somewhere between all the firsts and the breakup was the part where rift happened between you and your ex and you will need to clear that hurdle to move forward. The key to working it out is starting back slow with a clean slate.
So what’s a guy to do?
If you feel like you are ready to get back together and make it last by all means go right ahead. However if you are feeling hesitation or pressure you’re probably better off letting go and ending the relationship for good.