We have all experienced that dreaded conversation after sex, did I do something wrong? What happened? I’ll get better, I promise. Failing to help your girl reach her sought after orgasm is one of the worst feelings in the world for a man. How could you be such a failure? It shouldn’t be that hard to get her off, after all it takes you a matter of minutes. Slow down cowboy, it turns out that her orgasm is much more complicated than yours.
Before you can understand why she isn’t orgasming you first have to understand what causes one. As men, penetration is enough to get us off. All of our nerve endings are located on our penis and when we enter her we are fully stimulating ourselves. However, most women get their pleasure from the clitoris. This presents a problem because our penis doesn’t really do any good in this department. If we don’t stimulate both the inside G-spot and the exterior clitoris, then we will probably fail to pleasure her fully. Now, let us review 4 reasons why she isn’t having an orgasm.
1. She has a medical condition.
There are several medical conditions that contribute to your partner’s inability to reach orgasm. Depression, diabetes, high blood pressure, and MS all directly affect her ability to get off. Not only do these diseases themselves contribute to the issue but the medications she is prescribed for them also play an important role. So before you go blaming yourself for her lack of pleasure ask her if she suffers from a medical condition. If she says yes, work with her to find out what brings her the most pleasure.
2. She is stressed.
Stress directly affects a woman’s ability to get off. As men, we see sex as a relief from our problems a way of escaping them. Women on the other hand, see sex as a scared place you go only once you are relaxed. If she is uptight and worried there is no way she will be able to have an orgasm. This is a big reason why alcohol is pushed on women to get them to have sex. Once their inhibitions are out of the way they relax. But you can get her to relax in a more loving environment by massaging her and stimulating her mind first.
3. She doesn’t enjoy your handywork.
It may be a hard pill to swallow, but your skills might not be doing the trick for her. If she is relaxed and still not having an orgasm during sex then maybe you need to reevaluate what you are doing. Remember, every woman has different pleasure spots and you can’t count on ‘go to moves’ to do the trick for her. Instead, take your time to learn what turns her on and use it in your sex life.
4. She has trouble letting go.
Many women have been taught from an early age that sex is naughty. Simply put, they feel dirty during sex and never fully relinquish their control. You can help her overcome this by asking her what makes her tick and incorporating sex toys in the process. If you can get her to focus more on her own pleasure you may be able to break the chain of control.