One of the most millennial terms of this century is friends with benefits. It gives you all the relationship benefits without a real-life relationship, and there are no strings attached between you two. It is quite liberating that you can go to that person without any constraints and reap all the benefits of a relationship without even having one. But, with time it certainly gets complicated. As we are all humans and emotions and feelings will slowly creep your way. Just like any other relationship in your life has its own sets of rules, so does friends with benefits. So it is very important to define the rules and stick to them.
There are certain do's and don'ts to follow in friends with benefits relationship:
Be clear about what you want
As the first rule in friends with benefits relationship, it is best to be transparent about your needs and expectations. Hence one should be open to communications and promise never to judge each other during the relationship. Honesty and care always lead you to a conversation in a neutral environment. Thus it keeps things healthy between you two without having to compromise on individual grounds. Speaking up for your needs and expectations is the first rule for being friends with benefits, you must bring transparency to make it work.
This is not a relationship
You should be sure about this relationship with its fine lines to be exactly what it is and not turn into anything more. This calls for not having expectations from your partner at all. So that the true intentions and feelings that started this relationship remain alive. Hence if you start having expectations about this turning into a full-blown relationship, the whole purpose gets defeated and you will always end up feeling miserable. Always follow the true intentions and never pressure a partner to do or say anything that you will not be proud of.
Keep the communication open
Honesty is the key to friends with benefits. Hence, one should keep all the gates of communication and transparency open to let the partner know about how he or she is feeling. The discussion can be about anything starting from sex to work life. This is to make sure that you both are on the same page. Henceforth, this is one of the most important things to take care of, to not hurt feelings down the line. If in the future you feel dicey about any situation feel confident to talk about it and the entire situation.
Always have protected sex
The last thing you will want in friends with benefits relationship is the risk of getting pregnant or get an STD. It is very important to wear condoms or find the right birth control solution because at the end of the day this is just friendship and not a relationship. Thus, you will never want to complicate your beautiful connection with unwanted emergency pregnancy stress.
Say no to cuddling
Cuddling and sleepovers can make you feel very close to someone because as human beings we all enjoy someone taking care of us and it can be really dangerous for later times. Hence this may lead to feelings that can furthermore complicate things and make you fall for that person. Every once in awhile sleepover can be fine, but it can be really dangerous if it becomes a habit. The final note is, even if you say okay to sleepovers, it is cuddling that is a no go area.
Never get jealous
If your partner starts seeing someone or is sleeping around with multiple partners make sure you do not get jealous. Since it can lead to malicious intentions. Honesty plays a very important role here as you should tell each other about your sexual activity so that there is no place for jealousy. However, at the end of the day, if you start feeling jealous because your partner is seeing other people. Thus, it is important for you to quit this entire friend with benefits set up. Hence jealousy in friends with benefits is a total no-no.
Stop calling your ex
The one individual that should never be a part of the entire friends with benefits setup is an Ex. Your ex can never be your friend because technically he or she is still your Ex. So, stop including them in your other relationships to uncomplicate things. Also, another no go area is having a friends with benefits relationship with your own Ex. As older emotions can surface and make things ugly again. Thus, it is important for you to keep a check on your emotional tab and say no. Having friends with benefits with your ex will bring along emotional attachments and you will be back to square one without even realizing.
It's not all about sex
Your partner is still your friend first, so, never ever make them feel like they are only here for sex. It is always important to respect their feelings and not make them feel like trash or someone you are only physically with. Although it is never turning into a relationship, it is also very important to maintain the friendship that started the entire setup of friends with benefits.
Thus, it is one thing to say that 'we are having sex without any emotional attachment', but it is also very tough to maintain such a relationship with no boundaries. Because as human beings for most of us emotions and sex go hand in hand and they are close feelings. It is important to follow all the do's and don'ts in a modern-day relationship like friends with benefits because you are not only losing your sexual partner but your good friend. To talk from the ultimate catastrophe from happening it is important to have a rulebook that you both religiously follow. Finally, every problem can be solved when you talk about it. Thus, issues with underlying problems in any relationship can be solved to when the two individual sit, talk and troubleshoot it.