There is that old saying of curiosity killed the cat and that same saying can oftentimes be applied in choosing to share the total number of people you have slept with, with your partner. Once you let the cat out of the bag there really is no going back and if your partner isn’t able to accept your sex number in relation to theirs the consequences could be feelings of inadequacy and the inability to accept a high number which could be the end of the relationship very quickly.
Should you Share your Sex Number in a Relationship?
The simple fact is that men and women 9 times out of 10 approach sex differently. Men can be involved with a person strictly for the sex and have no problem having no emotional connection; women on the other hand often mix emotions with sex so that they are intertwined together irrevocably. This leads to men usually having a higher number of sexual partners than women. Because of this a man and woman in a relationship are going to oftentimes have a fairly significant difference is sex partners and that difference can cause problems if it isn’t approached carefully.
Understanding what to share and what to keep on the low
With every relationship there comes a time when partners get curious about who you have been with before, the actual numbers, what the relationships were like, etc. Knowing what to share and what not to share is all about being truthful, honest and, if you have to, reassuring your partner that you are dedicated to the relationship and to them.
Oftentimes when a girlfriend or spouse asks about the number of people you have slept with the questions stems from their feelings of insecurity about you or the relationship as a whole. The best way to deal with this is share the information they actually want to know while strategically omitting what they really don’t want to hear.
Be truthful, enough...
Don’t lie if they ask you a specific question as that will just make the issue worse if your partner were to find out, but don’t offer more information than you think is necessary. Take for example when a woman asks you if you think another woman look more beautiful than her or if the dress she’s wearing makes her look fat… any man with a fair amount of experience with women knows exactly what to say “No honey, of course not you look beautiful.” It’s the same thing… ensuring that your partner feels secure, beautiful and wanted by you.
Most women aren’t going to want to know you’ve slept with a large amount of women; they just want to know that you are dedicated to the relationship, that you haven’t cheated on a partner before and that you were safe with those other partners. Sharing the number of sexual partners you’ve had is always a part of a serious relationship and should be approached with caution and care if you value keeping that relationship. Be smart about what you do and say and you’ll be alright.