In the confines of a committed relationship, sex often gets a good-yet-bad rap. Yes, those in the relationship are more likely to tell you their sex lives are about emotional connection and intimacy; but they’re also likely to tell you that sex doesn’t live up to their expectations sometimes. Rather than take this as a sign that the romance is cooling off – or even that the relationship is approaching a natural plateau or end, there is a way to bring the shine back to any sexual dynamic. Some people call it the Nike principal – Just Do It. Others call it “just because” sex. Still others call it “freebie sex.” It’s not the term that matters. It’s the act. Simply having more sex for the pure physical pleasure it provides. Understanding and respecting that sex doesn’t always have to be an emotional adventure or deep experience of shared passion. It can be a fun, carefree, and dare-we-say quick encounter.
The reason it works for so many couples is because sex is a lot like a fitness regimen. The more you train at tennis, the more you want to play. The greater your desire becomes to engage in a game with someone else. Our bodies are programmed to respond in similar fashion to sex. The more we have sex; the more we want sex. This goes for men and women. We think about sex more often in positive ways. We become more receptive to the suggestion of sex, particularly from a trusted partner. We even become more focused on the act itself – exploring those positions and techniques which give ourselves or our partners greater pleasure. Conversely, when our brains begin to believe that sex either isn’t available or it doesn’t meet with our desires, hormone levels actually decline just enough to dampen the libido and make us less likely to seek out or engage in sex.
Sex is very important in a relationship because it is the bond that holds both of you together. So if one partner loses interest or does not feel like engaging in sex on a regular basis the relationship will soon follow down that same path. That is especially true for men since we are packed full of hormones and testosterone and need the physical release sex brings. So don’t be afraid to speak up and tell her your needs, she’ll be happy to know that you are communicating to her and if she is a good partner she will be more than happy to fulfill what you are longing for.
For those worried that your partner will still need “a reason” for sex – try suggesting that sex can be a celebration of the relationship you’ve enjoyed to this point. Or try the “because we deserve it” route. If you both enter into the experience with a worry-free attitude you may rediscover a spark you thought was hiding.